so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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