Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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