Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
