Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
