so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
