oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
