2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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