I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
