Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
