Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
