I wish I could punch you in the face.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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