i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
