He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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