How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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