There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
