dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
