She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
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