Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
