im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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