the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
