forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
