you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
