I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
