Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
