She's JV to your varsity
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I love having hate sex.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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