worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
