Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
