She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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