ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
