I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
When are your genitals available?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize