i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
