It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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