what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
