So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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