The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
