She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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