just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
