oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
