I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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