don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Randomize
