this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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