im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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