Swine flu. Run for my life!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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