i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
