So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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