Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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