you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
