He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
