I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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