i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Panties = found
Randomize
