After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
