My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
