I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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