i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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