it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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