True but thats because hes a fetus.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
