So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
