the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
